An Urban Herb Smoothie

In My Kingdom of Soil

I’m a poet and a poem,

a spacious rumor in a room,

a child and a wife and a groom-

I’m blue.

I soothe myself in beige

and make holes in different places

all around this town.

I live underground,

Isolating each picture and sound

That may come my way.

I’m a grey root-

I shoot my leaves above the ice

That shields my earthy ceiling.

I find it appealing to wait

On my throne of thorns

And unborn seeds.

I feed

Off water and rocks,

I shock my surroundings

With loud noises

And nude poses,

Shot by the lense of my eye.

I lie undisturbed on my mattress of herbs

Reality seems far away

In my heaven, where we pray

To plants and trees.

My subordinates please

My unusual needs

And cover my body with kisses

And beats

Till I sleep.

I feel the bruises burn my knees

And watch them go

Purple and

Yellow and

Green.

I give birth to spring buds

Till I’m sick

And my ovaries hurt.

I’m the queen of this land;

This earth I step on

Is mine to command and part with.

I throw three hundred parties

Each year,

Get drunk on gin and beer

And then go to bed.

I tend to lead a simple life

For the royalty that I am.

No one is aware of my name

Or my place of residence,

Or the size of these premises

I own.

5 Things to Look at Today When Bored

• http://www.viceland.com/int/guides/htdocs/guide-giving-head-101.php Vice Guide to Giving Head. Entertaining, accurate and almost as good as the Vice Guide to Eating Pussy (http://www.viceland.com/nl/v1n1b/htdocs/eating_pussy.php)  Nothing beats boredom more than Vice. As much as I hate their arrogant writers and ridiculous media pack. But who am I kidding, I’m just jealous.

• http://www.latfh.com/  The Look at This Fucking Hipster blog. It’s awesome. Makes me think. Makes me…not bored.

• http://wearenotarockband.wordpress.com/ Get new music.  One of my collegue’s music blog, which is actually getting huge, so make sure you join the crowds. They’re looking for writers, by the way, so do drop them a line, if you’re interested.

• http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2010/feb/23/ed-balls-faith-schools-sex-education   Made me laugh. Adapt civil same sex partnership to religion? Clever mood…ahem yeah.

• http://thathipsterporn.tumblr.com/  A collection of artsy pornographic images. Quite cool, just remember not to check it out in the office (happened to me yesterday).